Financial Infidelity

Financial infidelity can be as damaging to a couple’s relationship as sexual infidelity.

By Trevor Armstrong, Marketing —

A shocking twenty percent of people admit they have lied to their spouse about finances, according to a recent survey from creditcards.com. An appalling forty-one percent admit to spending more than $100 without telling their partner.

Most people will agree that money is the leading cause of stress in relationships, not sex or even kids. Obviously it is a crucial issue. Yet all too often, spouses will try to hide their spending habits from one another. This financial infidelity can be as damaging to a couple’s relationship as sexual infidelity. Amanda Clayman, a financial therapist based in New York City, says that lying behavior can have a “destructive long-term effect on the partnership.”

Four Healthy Financial Principles

So how does one navigate a possibly turbulent financial conversation with ease? Clayman offers four key principles to follow when discussing finances: communication, clarity about goals, negotiation, and compromise. Communication means that partners must take turns speaking and listening without judgment. Clarity about goals implies talking about specific quantities instead of simply saying, “We need to save more.” Negotiation refers to incorporating the values of each partner in the solution. The final principle, compromise, means prioritizing the good of the whole rather than trying to get everything you want. Employing these four principles will help couples have healthy conversations about finances.

Is Your Partner Hiding Something?

It may occur that one partner refuses to participate in open financial discussions. This can be severely damaging to a relationship. The partner may perhaps have something to hide. If this is the case, it is difficult to know what to do. In such cases, counseling may not always help. So what can a person do if they suspect their spouse is lying or hiding information?

Modern scientists have developed a method through which a person’s truthfulness can be detected. This works because a person’s body responds naturally when they tell a lie. Scientists have discovered a way to read a person’s reaction and determine whether or not they are telling the truth. The company Converus says that it is possible to adapt this technology to test partners in a relationship. Whether or not this technology will lead people to be more honest and responsible with their partners remains to be seen. One thing is certain however, partners in a relationship can no longer hide the truth.

Sources

Why We Lie to Our Spouses
Money Is the Leading Cause of Stress in Relationships
Photo courtesy of LWP.